...who lived in a faraway kingdom very similar to Oz, except of course, there was no yellow brick road to follow to get there. So the princess, with no idea how to get there decided to...

...google the location and download it to her personal GPS.  But as she did, the battery went flat in the bloody thing, leaving her with no option but to...

...remove the batteries from her vibrator. Oooh, how she NEEDED her bridgroom prince! So, she...

reluctantly and begrudgingly (sp?) removed the batteries and loaded the GPS. She then started pushing all the pretty buttons until it started beeping. All of a sudden a beam of light came out and...

...a funny little metallic man appeared in front of her.  He was obviously very angry because most of what he was saying was coming out as bleeps.  The princess, never fond of strong language, blushed and removed her vibrator from...

...her utility belt and fumbled around with the setting switch. There! She found it and switched it from ORGASM to KILL. She pointed it at the metallic man and, remembering she had removed the batteries, threw it at him instead. With a loud CLANK it banged against his...

....lower extremities! He didn't feel anything, no pain, no pinching, nothing! He wasn't human after all! He made a grab for the princess who made a quick move, dodging his outstretched arm, bobbing and weaving like a boxer! Thank heavens for those recreational classes her father the King forced her to take...

...instead of the fun stuff like "beer drinking for beginners" or "fun with dead zebras." So, she used her kick boxing skills and managed to give the pissed off R2-D2 wanna-be the slip. But only to find that...

he was an oompa loompa from Oz! He got the boot from OZ for selling black market hearts, brains, courage and red sequinned Jimmy Choo's! Cinderella tried on one of the fake shoes and lost her pinky! The Wizard kicked the Oompa Loompa to the curb yelling....

"Oompa Loompas don't belong here. Go back to Wonkaland and take your stupid friends with you." The Scarecrow, upon hearing this, started crying.

"Why are you picking on me again, Wizard. You said you gave me a brain. What did you really give me?" With that, he threw himself at the nearest fireplace, which just happened to be next to the...